The Tantric numerologist

In the spirit of free inquiry... for my xx significant birthday a friend gave me a 'session' with a tantric numerologist (who lives inevitably perhaps in California). She was whacky, extrovert...and penetrating.

The session was conducted on Skype and all she had to go on was my presence, my birthdate and my name, and a very brief account of 'me' that I gave her.

Yesterday I was listening to the recording of that session, thinking how uncannily accurate it had been, as it unfolded.

Indeed she used almost the exact same words as another friend had years before. This friend was a distinguished astrologer. Both had used the image of repeated previous lifetimes spent in monasteries but that this time one's karmic imperative was to be in the world, and of service (however much retreat is sometimes necessary). There would be no authoritative, enclosing community for me this time.

It gives me (however you understand it) a poignantly lonely spirit, accomplished after its own manner with some wisdom, but so restless, unable to settle.

How accurate she was too about the trajectory of engaged enthusiasm, paradoxically coupled, with an oft burning desire to 'get the hell out of here' (wherever 'here' is at the time)!

It is difficult to know what to do with 'seers' in contemporary culture, they elude our 'neating' material categories. Allow oneself, I suppose, to be seen and take from it whatever is valuable, parking the rest.

Today the tension between 'being here' and wanting to escape was especially sharp. I know that I will stay in the world of helping, that is so honourable and good, and yet never quite mine in the configurations in which it presents itself (whatever mine is)!

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